Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,
This past week has been fraught with Emotions of all sorts. One day I had been informed by the lady I rent this room from that she was going to sell the house this summer which would mean that I have to vacate my room and find another place to live very soon. I was taken utterly by surprise, because when I moved in here she had said to me that she expected that I would be able to rent here until Spring 2014 when she would sell the house. I am rather poor, in terms of money and income. I have a full time job but I do not make much money. I keep my expenses low by not having a television, or air conditioning, by keeping the heat low, by driving my 19 year old car, by carrying my meals to work and hardly ever eating out. I had planned on having this year to gradually build up some savings account for when I would need to move out on my own in 2014.
I felt Panic, Anger, Fear, Grief and Exhaustion at the thought of having to Scramble again to find a place to lay my head at night. Ever since I left the Commune it has been stressful and difficult to find even cheap housing that I can afford. I mean, I am smart and able to do lots and lots of kinds of work, but because I do not have any College Degree it has been impossible for me to get interviews for jobs other than low paying service jobs like I am doing.
Well, I worked it through inside of Me. I asked the Universe and God to show me what the Gift was in this new Challenge. And then I Let Go and waited for the Answer. I Found and Chose Peace. I chose to have Peace because Peace is more important to me than having a Material Home. Trust is more important than Certainty and Security. Actually what I mean is that Peace and Trust ARE MY HOME now…they are the Home that I live in and from. Where I lay my head is part of my Life Circumstance, but it is not my Life.
A few days later this woman came to me again and said that she had spoken to her financial advisor and he had recommended that she wait another year before selling her house and so she wanted me to know I could stay! This came as a Huge Relief to me and without missing a beat I saw how the Universe had Provided A Perfect and Healing Lesson, A Difficult Test and An Important Reminder of where my True Home Is.
My Home is In My Heart and Soul. My Home is Where I live from A Place of Peace and Trust. Here I AM. This is Amazing Healing, to be here, today. Deo Gratias.
With Love and Peace, Z Miłości i Pokoju, Con Amore e Pace,
Gabriel Orion Marie
* For those of you who may not know, I have published a series of three books that tell the story of my recovery and healing from profoundly intense physical, sexual and spiritual abuse. These books have dozens of paintings that I did during my process and those paintings are a core form of communication I used in my Healing. These books are available on Amazon. I hope you will read them and pass them on to others !
This White House (Book One), Going Sane (Book Two) and A Spectacular Dawn (Book Three)