Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,
It has been some time since I have been in a situation with time to write and I am so glad for every chance that comes. Especially when that coincides with having something that I feel is meaningful to share.
What I wanted to write about today is something that I have had a wonderful new freedom and healing about. It is this: What other people do with their time and their energy is: 1) Their Freedom of Choice , and 2) Not my business 🙂
I really have begun to see that so much of what I judge about another person somehow involves how I feel about how they are spending their Time or their Energy! I think of how I have judged others for such things as how much time they do or don’t spend with their spouse, their children, their grandchildren, their friends. I may judge how much or how little a person spends exercising, reading, talking, shopping or praying! It really doesn’t matter what it is…it is that I have idea’s about how I think someone else should spend their day. And that is pretty much ridiculous, if you think about it.
I don’t like other people judging how I spend my day, or making assumptions about it.
What a tremendous freedom there is for me in letting go of those judgements! Its really a wonderful feeling of freedom and an emotionally clean kind of boundary to release this kind of judging and evaluation of others.
In our relationships that require negotiating our availability and commitment to one another, which varies according to the relationship, (spouse, parent, child, employee, employer) of course we need to be accountable for what we are committed to. But I am speaking primarily about the ongoing chatter in our own minds that send a steady stream of commentary and suggestion and judgements on how others choose to live and relate to the world around them. It equates to respecting or disrespecting how they choose to live.
My spiritual journey, freedom, respect for myself and others, and kindness are my greatest desires and most appreciated qualities of life. And my day to day choices are mostly made according to how they uphold those values. For a couple of practical examples: I prefer to rent a small apartment rather than own a home. This is because I prefer the freedom of being able to move, to explore, to travel and not worry about the responsibilities of home ownership. Some people think renting is a waste of money, because it is not building any equity. But I am building and invisible equity in freedom and movement, which I value much more than putting down roots and ownership.
I have a 20 year old Pontiac that is a wonderful car. It lacks all the latest technologies, and if I wanted to, I could upgrade and buy a fancier, newer car. But I prefer the freedom of having a car that 1) I own and is fully paid for. 2) There is nothing wrong with it, it has become like an old friend and it is safe and strong and I love it. 3) Because of its age, I have very low car insurance payments, which means my monthly expenses are lower and I can use my money in other ways that I value more.
I’m not saying it isn’t valuable to own a home and drive a fancy car, I’m just saying that I don’t value those things enough to put my time and energy and financial resources that would be required to have them, at least right now!
I absolutely love animals and plants, but I do not own any, because I not home enough to take good care of them, and I believe that if I own a living creature, I would want to make sure that I can really take GOOD care of it..not just “get by”. Yet my life is full of plants and animals as well as people! I am not kidding when I say I talk to the trees and the birds and the squirrels and every animal I see. I appreciate them in the yard, the fields and prairies, along the highway, and lakes and rivers and in the sky.
Right now I can hear the peepers and crickets going wild with song and they are my pets this Season! When one of my friends saw how much I enjoyed her cat, she suggested I get myself one and I told her that the peepers are my pets right now and I can travel and take road trips and God takes care of them!
Anyway, I am sure you get my point..it goes from the very basic things to the deepest things…from our lifestyle choices to our faith, our beliefs, our work choices, our relationship choices. They are part of each person’s fundamental freedom and I can free myself of the burden of worrying about or judging how other people use theirs. It is so liberating and frees up so much room in my mind and heart!
With Faith in Freedom, Z Wiarą w Wolność, Con la Fede Nella Libertà,
Gabriel Orion Marie
* For those of you who may not know, I have published a series of three books that tell the story of my recovery and healing from profoundly intense physical, sexual and spiritual abuse. These books have dozens of paintings that I did during my process and those paintings are a core form of communication I used in my Healing. These books are available on Amazon. I hope you will read them and pass them on to others! This White House (Book One), Going Sane (Book Two) and A Spectacular Dawn (Book Three)