Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,
Yesterday I wrote about a Peaceful Certainty and Today I am Afraid and Anxious…that is the Truth, and I know that many of you can relate to this…one day feeling very Certain about a Decision or a Choice and then the next day Feeling Dreadful about it! That is happening to me right now!
Now that all three books are out in print and some sets have been sent out to various places, I am suddenly feeling anxiety and fear… The Peaceful Certainty of Yesterday is being really Tested! What is going to become of them? What will unfold for my life because of these books? All I know is that I felt the Call, the Impetus to write and publish them, as a Gift for others, and as a further step in my own healing. I obeyed that Voice inside and I have done it. Now, whatever will come of this is Unknown to me.
I was talking with my Health Coach, Carol, this morning. (She is amazing and I just want to say that right here!) We only know each other by phone, but there we have a deep connection and it is so supportive. We talked about the fact that all through the process of writing and publishing my three books, I had an awful lot of control. It was all about my own Timing (When I was able to put the time and energy into writing, while still working full time) and my own Financial Situation (how much I could afford to put into the writing and publishing), and then working with my Publisher and making decisions on the release of the books.
Now that they are out, I really have No Control over what happens with them. They may or may not get known…I can do all the advertising I want, but the results are not predictable. I have sent out copies for reviews and to the Universities that have asked for them, but what they decide to do with them is Unknown and out of my Control.
Now, I have to live Today. I have to Let Go. I have to Leave the Details to the Universe.
One of the thoughts that kept coming to me over a year ago when I made the decision to write these books was the from the Gospel in Luke about Light: (Luke 11:33) These words gave me the Courage to write and publish…they felt like an Instruction to me from the Lord.
“No one lights a lamp and hides it or puts it under a basket. Instead, everyone who lights a lamp puts it on a lamp stand so that those who come in will see its light.
“A nikt świecę zapaliwszy, nie stawia jej w skrytości, ani pod korzec, ale na świecznik, aby ci, którzy wchodzą, światło widzieli.”
So, while talking with Carol this morning, I was sharing with her about this line from the Gospel and we talked about the song “This Little Light of Mine” and we laughed about how simple and beautiful it is. This is going to be my Song for Today and for whenever I start to feel Fear or Anxiety about Sharing my Light, my Story.
I want to say Thank You to each of you are part of this Journey with me and Thank you for wanting to Witness the Healing that has happened in my life. I pray that what I have to offer is a blessing to you, in some small way. My Commitment to is Stay in this Empty Space and Trust, Live, Love and Let My Light Shine, whether I feel Peaceful Certainty or Not!
With Love from the Empty Space, Z Miłością, Z Pustego Miejsca, Con Amore Dal Luogo Vuoto,
Gabriel Orion Marie
* For those of you who may not know, I have published a series of three books that tell the story of my recovery and healing from profoundly intense physical, sexual and spiritual abuse. These books have dozens of paintings that I did during my process and those paintings are a core form of communication I used in my Healing. These books are available on Amazon. I hope you will read them and pass them on to others!
This White House (Book One), Going Sane (Book Two) and A Spectacular Dawn (Book Three)