Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,

In my work with the elderly and dying, one of the most difficult things I Witness is when I am working with couples, and One of them dies . The other one always feels Left Behind.  I have become very familiar with the Reality that if you stay with your Spouse, it is inevitable that one of you is going to Die First and One Will Be Left Behind. (Except in rare circumstances where a couple dies together in an accident or disaster.)

Most of my clients are already widows or widowers, I only work with a few couples.  To see a married couple that has been together for 50, 60 years, is astonishing and something I feel very awed by. They often talk and even joke about how they  argue with each other about Who is going to Go First, and Who would be the one that would manage better if they were the One Left Behind.  It is very touching, very sacred and something that I do not understand from the point of a Marriage, since I have never been married.  But I do understand it regarding someone I love deeply dying before me, like my brother Angelo, and a number of people with whom I have shared a deep bond who have passed to the other side of the Veil.

Tomas and Cecile are a couple I have gotten to know through my work, but they have required very little medical services. Mostly they just needed some weekly cleaning, and daily checking on, and meals provided. Both in their late 80’s, both still very clear in their minds, and both with a variety of health issues and general stresses of aging.  But what a fun and happy couple!  The both had wonderful senses of humor and were always there to attend any group activities we had.  They were inseparable…one never went anywhere without the other.  Even if Cecile was having her hair done at the Beauty Shop, Tomas was sitting there waiting for her. I honestly don’t ever remember seeing one of them without the other at their side.

Last week after supper one evening, Tomas and Cecile were heading back to their apartment and Tomas called out to me and said Cecile was having a bad headache and would like something for it.  They had stopped to sit in chairs near the doors because Cecile couldn’t take the pain and had to sit down.  She looked up at me and grabbed the side of her head and looked so frightened and asked me what could be happening to her.   Somehow I knew instantly and instinctively that she was having an aneurism and she was going to die very soon.  I calmly told her that I thought because this was an usual and sudden pain in her head, I wanted to send her in to the hospital to get checked out.  I called for an ambulance and they were there within a couple of minutes.  The look on Tomas’ face was heartbreaking, I could see his pulse pounding fast in the veins on his neck.  He looked at me as if to tell me “Don’t let this happen, don’t take her away from me. I need her, she is my other Self, no…more than that…We have Become One…I need to be where she is…” I  was needing to attend to Cecile and also assure him as best I could that we would do everything we could.  I got the ambulance drivers to allow Tomas to ride with them to the hospital and contacted the family to have them meet them there.

Within hours, Cecile had died. Of an aneurism.

When Tomas was brought back to his apartment, he could not speak.  All he could do was cry.

Now, without warning, he has become the One Left Behind and it is New, Unchartered Territory for him.  Overnight he aged a decade. I only found out yesterday that one of the reasons they were so inseparable was because Tomas is legally blind.  None of us knew that!  He managed so well with Cecile being his eyes and his side by side partner, that there was no noticeable indication that he had any visual difficulty.

What Love and Companionship I witnessed in that couple!  What Dedication and Commitment!

Now, Tomas, like so many other widows and widowers, will tread these last miles of his earthly journey with a new Solitariness and Emptiness.  I am Grieving for him and praying that I can be even a tiny bit of graceful comfort and help to him.

Every day of my life, for as far back as I can remember in my early childhood, I have always Believed in a Life after this Life on Earth.  I have always known in my Soul that I came from Somewhere Beautiful and Sacred and I am on a Journey that will at some point bring me into the Core of that Sacred Place..that Paradise, that place of The Communion of All Love.

Without that Belief, I don’t think I could Ever bear the Shock and Pain of Being The One Left Behind.

My work gives me hundreds of opportunities to offer solace and assistance and compassion to many older people who are sometimes Stumbling, sometimes Grieving, sometimes very Nobly Accepting this time of passage, until it is Their Turn to Go.  What a privilege it is for me and what an honor!

Please, my Friends, in your Kindness, will you offer a little prayer for Tomas?  He is a Believer and I have told him that I am going to ask all my friends to pray for him and he was very touched by that.

With love and respect, z Miłością i Zaangażowaniem, Con Amore e Impegno,

I Remain,

Gabriel Orion Marie

* For those of you who may not know, I have published a series of three books that tell the story of my recovery and healing from profoundly intense physical, sexual and spiritual abuse. These books have dozens of paintings that I did during my process and those paintings are a core form of communication I used in my Healing. These books are available on Amazon. I hope you will read them and pass them on to others!

This White House (Book One), Going Sane (Book Two) and A Spectacular Dawn (Book Three)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I Remain,

Gabriel Orion Marie

* For those of you who may not know, I have published a series of three books that tell the story of my recovery and healing from profoundly intense physical, sexual and spiritual abuse. These books have dozens of paintings that I did during my process and those paintings are a core form of communication I used in my Healing. These books are available on Amazon. I hope you will read them and pass them on to others!

This White House (Book One), Going Sane (Book Two) and A Spectacular Dawn (Book Three)