Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,
Denial and unconscious living were deeply forced upon me from the earliest years of my life. They had to be, or I would not have survived. There was no way for a child to stay conscious day after day with the kinds of abuse and torture I was being subjected to, yet all of it was registering and damaging me in very tragic ways. Part of the damage was that I was being pushed deeper and deeper away from the surface of life as I was being silenced by my father and the others who had control of me.
Many years later, long after I was physically free from domination, I had to work very hard and struggle with deep determination for my spiritual, emotional and psychic freedom. The entire process of Healing required a gradual dismantling of the walls of denial, secrecy and unconsciousness I had built up. Gradually I began to emerge from behind those walls and communicate about what really happened and how bad it really was.
If you have ever been tormented by a secret that you carried inside of you, then you will know how much of a bondage that can be. You know that sick feeling you have in your stomach and your mind, afraid of anyone finding out about your secret. It might be something that was done to you, it might be something you have done, it might be a crime you witnessed or an abuse you know about and never said anything about. Those kinds of secrets eat away at us and they imprison us inside themselves. Its like we are locked inside the secret and the only way out is by revealing the secret.
If you have ever spoken out about the truth, in a brave moment and had that suddenly burst of light and freedom, you will know what I am talking about. You will know that elation of instant freedom!
When you have spoken and it was not welcome, you will know the pain of being a dangerously free person.
Speaking the truth is not always welcomed. So many brave people have discovered that in relationships, families, church communities, places of work, if there are any forms of abuse, domination, violence, or dysfunction, the truth is usually shunned and the one who speaks the truth or challenges the dysfunction is punished.
I found this out repeatedly in my efforts to heal before I finally began to understand. When I would want to talk about something that was happening in the commune I lived, or when I was open in a friendship about what was really going on in my world, I was often quite suddenly treated like I was the enemy.
There was a naiveté in me that believed that if people only knew the truth, they would want to make things right.(Especially people who claimed to be committed to God) Beginning in my childhood, and on through my adult life I sadly discovered that was not the case.
One day when I was in a session with Dr. A. I was so distressed because I was no longer welcome to be in contact with some of my old friends in the commune I had been part of. I was being shunned. I felt like I was the enemy. My friends were told by the superiors that they could not be in contact with me. I know I was perceived as dangerous to the system, and I was so devastated and hurt and angry.v(I remember when others had left before me and what I was told about them, and now I was one of them!)
It was because I had revealed to those superiors some of the most awful things that were happening in that commune and I was standing up against the lies and secrecy. I was telling the truth.
Dr. A. looked at me and said: “You know WHY you are a Danger, don’t you?…(I sat in tears not being able to Fathom Why I could be considered Dangerous)…Gabriel, the Most Dangerous Person in the World is a Free Person…It is your Freedom that they Fear, it is your Freedom that is a Danger to their Domination and Control…”
I remember sobbing for a long time in his office, my sacred arena that day. There are many costs to freedom and one of them is that if you truly express your freedom, if you do not fear the truth and if you even just quietly expose it, and say it like it is, you may be shunned, you may be rejected and you may be treated like you are a danger. It happens in families, in friendships, in working relationships…it can happen anywhere.
Initially that rejection was a very lonely time for me, but I have grown to love my freedom with all my heart and now I am fully committed to honoring and preserving my freedom. I have come out of prison, I will not go back.
And I am only dangerous to things like denial and unconsciousness and lies, because if I encounter them in myself or in my relationships I am committed to dismantling them with a ray of light to expose them, not with violence, but with the deepest commitment to truth and desire for integrity in all areas of my life.
Ever since that day in Dr. A.’s office I have seen how true his word are: that The Most Dangerous People in the World are those who are Free…because they challenge countless layers of oppression and denial in our society.
With my unwavering commitment to freedom, and my support for all of you who bravely choose the freedom of truth over the prison of denial,
With love and respect, z Miłością i Zaangażowaniem, Con Amore e Impegno,
Gabriel Orion Marie
* For those of you who may not know, I have published a series of three books that tell the story of my recovery and healing from profoundly intense physical, sexual and spiritual abuse. These books have dozens of paintings that I did during my process and those paintings are a core form of communication I used in my Healing. These books are available on Amazon. I hope you will read them and pass them on to others!
This White House (Book One), Going Sane (Book Two) and A Spectacular Dawn (Book Three)