Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,
“The Field of All Possibilities” is a stunning Concept/Reality that I am just beginning to get a glimpse of, as I read and study more of Deepak Chopra and Eckhart Tolle. It is this place where we are Pure Being, and where everything Comes From..it is the Experience of Pure Being and Pure Potential and they both write and speak about it so eloquently that it is hard NOT to understand it and desire to experience it!
It harkens back for me to the countless times when I was sitting in Dr. A.’s office, and daring to think about my future, about what I would do if I left the commune, if I ever recovered enough physical and mental health that I would be able to care for myself. He used to tell me there were Infinite Possibilities and that I got to choose from that Infinite Array of Possibilities. He would often encourage me to try and imagine various scenarios of where I might want to live, what kind of work I want to do, what sort of car would like, what kind of friends would I have…I would sit there baffled and kinda sick to my stomach because I didn’t know how to imagine anything outside of my own past experiences.
Frankly, I did not believe him. I never believed in Choices, not really. I always felt doomed, fated, destined, condemned, stuck, trapped and imprisoned. Prisoners do not have many Choices…Prisoners do not seem to have an Infinite Field of Possibilities available to them. I would actually resent Dr. A. for suggesting that I could do whatever I chose to do, because it made me feel that he must not understand me, he must not really get how insane and stuck I am, how poor I am!
Yet, sometimes when he spoke like this (and it was always gently, but with conviction), it was as if a tiny Beam of Light was Shining through a Crack in my Psychic Prison. I would wonder if maybe he was Right. Maybe there were lots of Possibilities for me, even if they were not Infinite! And I would get a wave of Hope and Excitement and Courage.
Now, Today, Here I AM….Living and making choices I never dreamt I would. I never expected to Share my Story and reveal my paintings and my journey! I never pictured sitting here at a computer writing to friends around the world that I have never met. I did not expect this…and I try to Stay Open every day to the Field of All Possibilities…It requires Courage and Risk to not just get into Deep Ruts when that was the way I lived for over 40 years. Survival created deep Ruts that I continually circled through, over and over…reliving, recreating the past and those Ruts got so deep that they became the Prison Walls that left no room for Anything New.
Thanks be to God for All the Events, the Dreadful and the Beautiful, that Hurled me Out of My Ruts and brought me to a place where I could begin to See and Trust the Field of All Possibilities! It is a Scary and Shaky place to Live, but it is full of Light and Freedom, Responsibility, Choice and Profound Joy.
Healing my Capacity to Know I have Choices, Healing in my Capacity to Choose, is true Healing! Deo Gratias!
Thank you, all of you who are reading this, for being an Amazing Possibility in my life that I have so Happily Discovered!
With my Love and Commitment, z Miłością i Zaangażowaniem, Con Amore e Impegno,
Gabriel Orion Marie