Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,
There is a wonderful experience I am having these past couple of weeks, and when I stop and am quiet and peaceful and listening to my inner voice, I Understand what is happening: It is the Opportunity for the Death of My Ego. As I have been praised by some, accused and attacked by others for what I have written (or what I have not written), it is so obvious that really neither praise nor accusation are called for…or have any real meaning in my own life and choices. No one gets to define the experience of another. No one can write a first person narrative of another. There is no such thing as an argument about another persons personal experience, so there is no need for any self defense, either. What a huge relief it is to realize that I never have to defend myself, my point of view, my opinion, my experience, what I have shared publicly or what I have refrained from sharing!
Every day I listen to books and meditations and teachings by Deepak Chopra and Eckhart Tolle and they are so packed with wisdom and inspiration that I have to listen to the same talk for weeks, so I can gradually absorb the concepts and begin to integrate them into my life. One of the concepts is this Death of the Ego, and the End of all Conflict. The both speak about how much energy we waste on self defense and how pointless it is and how self defense only serves to strengthen the Ego.
This is very early in the stage of being a published author and it is Crucial that I learn right now to stand Unmoved by Praise, Flattery, Criticism or Accusation. I know for myself that one of the great fruits of Conscious Living is that I see how all of my judgments and reactions to anyone else or to any situation are Mirrors of something deep inside of me that needs resolving. I also know that just as I project my Shadow on others, I am also prone to project my Gold, my Goodness onto others. Self Knowledge, Self Possession and Well Attuned Boundaries are fabulous paths to the place where I no longer Project anything on others, but remain Simply Me and where I can experience Others as Simply Who They Are.
I see that these Projections are knee-jerk reactions of my Ego, and I am searching headlong now into for the deep inner Stillness and Presence that will keep my whole Being focused on Love, Compassion, Mercy, Forgiveness, Consciousness, Presence and Kindness. In that place, I see the foolishness and waste of energy that it is to defend myself out of fear of what others think or to Comfort myself with praise of others.
Dear Friends, this pursuit of mine to find Healing in in Every Aspect of My Life, is a huge work, a Challenge and the most Wonderful, Joyful, Thrilling and Surprising life and I thank God with all my Heart and Soul for calling me to this and for Leading me. I thank all of you, too, who are my Witnesses and my Unseen Friends with whom I share a most interesting and beautiful connection. Together we help to creaste a most Conscious world, a World where there is more Kindess and Peace and Love and where deep Healing is Available to all.
With love and respect, z Miłością i Zaangażowaniem, Con Amore e Impegno,
Gabriel Orion Marie
* For those of you who may not know, I have published a series of three books that tell the story of my recovery and healing from profoundly intense physical, sexual and spiritual abuse. These books have dozens of paintings that I did during my process and those paintings are a core form of communication I used in my Healing. These books are available on Amazon. I hope you will read them and pass them on to others!
This White House (Book One), Going Sane (Book Two) and A Spectacular Dawn (Book Three)