Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,
There are many Children of the Children of This White House…I have almost 20 nieces and nephews and now nearly 30 great-nieces and nephews. The first ones were born when I was 11, and these were in this world while my father was still alive, and still full of energy to hate.
The thrill of being an Auntie was so sweet when I was young and so battered. It made me feel like a grown-up and like I was a person who Mattered. I adored every single one of my nieces and nephews as they came in to this world and I would have Laid Down my Life for any of them. The ones that were born before I was old enough to Flee were like younger siblings to me and we were very close. Many of them spent part of their early years living in the same house, as our large, dysfunctional, and poor family had to share housing in order for us all to have the basic necessities of life.
None them were ever physically or sexually abused by my father, though they were disdained by him, just because they existed. I don’t know what any of them know about him, since he died after about the 5th one was born and NONE of them EVER ask about their Monstrous Grandfather. Even my niece Cecelia, who wrote the poem This White House and who carries the Invisible Knowledge of How Bad It Was, does not want to know the details or have mental images of the Horrors committed in That House.
When I Fled from Country to Country, Across Oceans and Borders, Those Children of the Children remained Very Close in my Soul, probably in many ways a Projected Personification of my Inner Selves. I saw and believed in the Perfect Innocence of these Children of the Children of The White House and when I was driven to the Edge of Suicide many times in my adult life, it was out of Love for them that I Held Back from killing myself. I did not want them to Carry the Burden of Having an Auntie Who Killed Herself. In fact, until I met Dr. A. and eventually had to make and keep a Commitment to No Harm to Myself, those Children of the Children were the ONLY reason I did not Kill Myself. In that sense, I owe my life to them. Their existence Saved me for many years…for Decades.
Now in this year of 2013, my siblings are all in their 50’s and 60’s and the Children of the Children range in age from teenagers to mid 40’s. For so many years I was under the Illusion that because my siblings and I miraculously did not become evil, cruel abusers, that these kids were somehow spared the effects of my father and mother, their Grandparents. However, time has shown me differently. Of course they could not be entirely spared, they were raised by The Children of the White House who were Deeply Wounded. As much as any of Children were able to Love, we were not able to Spare the Children of the Children from the Inheritance of Oppression, the Legacy of Shame. We did not have enough Time or Help to Cleanse and Heal the Wounds before these Innocent Children Appeared and Needed us, Their Damaged Ancestors.
Each of us Children have had Major Breakdowns during out Mid-Life, when Survival was no longer sustainable or possible, when we finally ran out of Inner Resources.
When the Grown Children Break Down, the Children of the Children are Horrified by what they See and their Own Inheritance Surfaces.
Today, I am Grieving for some of the Children of the Children who are Deeply Hurt and Angry by the Impact of Being Raised the Wounded Children of The White House. I want so much to help them but there is so little I can do.
Some of my hardest days, some of the most difficult challenges I face in my own Healing, I muster up the Courage to continue because of my Passionate Love of the Children of the Children, and I want to Give them even Small Portion of Light as an Inheritance.
Please, can I ask you, My Friends, the Readers of my Heart, if you would Say a Prayer today for The Children of the Children? It would mean so much to me to know that I have Enlisted some people on this Earth to send Kindness, Compassion, Mercy and Love to them. I believe with all my heart that it will reach them, With the Silent, Invisible Power of God and Our own Intention to Love.
Healing is needed for them. Healing is what I pray for them. Lasting, Deep Healing.
Thank you with all my heart! Dziękuję z całego serca! Grazie con tutto il cuore!
Gabriel Orion Marie