Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,
Every day I am facing this reality of Profound Powerlessness, as I Witness the intense suffering of my brother Gioffredo. There are so many ways each day that this Reality of Powerlessness is confronting me and my Initial, Knee-Jerk response to Resist and Rage against Powerlessness.
I have No Power over the Cancer in Gioffredo’s body. I have No Power over how much physical agony this is pancreatic cancer is causing.
I have No Power over the length of Time it takes for Doctors or Nurses to respond.
I have No Power over How much the Medication Relieves his pain, or for How Long it is Effective.
I have No Power over what this is doing to him, or how he is able to Respond or Not.
I have No Power to Insist that I feel This Or That. My Feeling, my Inner Responses are Running the Gamut. I feel just about Every Feeling I have ever heard of!
I have No Power how anyone else in the family is coping, and I have No Power to Spare them from what they have to go through in this.
I am Powerless over 99.99% of Life.
But I have the Power to Accept my Powerlessness and Let Go…
When I Stop, Breathe and get even a little bit of Emotional Distance from this particular situation with my brother, I can make the choices from my Soul to Accept everything about this and to even Thank God for it. To trust there IS a Gift in everything, if only I am open to seeing it and embracing it.
I have the Power to be Kind, to be Gentle, to be Generous.
I have the Power to be Open, Forgiving, and Merciful whenever there is a tension or a hurt between myself and another other human being.
I have the Power to just Be, and Leave the Universe and Every Person in it in the Hands of God and to Trust that everything is Unfolding Perfectly.
My Forgiveness must begin with Me, for when I forget to do this, or for when I have a moment when I am Furious and Upset and Angry at my Powerlessness. Then I Take a Deep Breath, and Begin Again to Embrace Powerlessness.
Dr. A. said to me recently ” Profound Powerlessness is at the Crux of so many things. Either you Carry the Burden of the Whole World on your Shoulders, or you Acknowledge and Embrace the the Truth that you have No Ability or Authority to Change the Universe and how Life is Unfolding….When you LET GO, you will experience a Profound Relief.
Then we talked about the line from the Scriptures 2 Corinthians 12:9 where St. Paul speaks of Powerlessness and what the Lord said to him about it:
“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”
‘Ed egli mi ha detto: La mia grazia ti basta, perché la mia potenza si dimostra perfetta nella debolezza. Perciò molto volentieri mi glorierò piuttosto delle mie debolezze, onde la potenza di Cristo riposi su me.”
“Ale mi rzekł: Dosyć masz na łasce mojej; albowiem moc moja wykonywa się w słabości. Raczej się tedy więcej chlubić będę z krewkości moich, aby we mnie mieszkała moc Chrystusowa.”
Powerless, Yet with Love, Bezsilny, ale z Miłością, Impotente, ma Con l’amore,
Gabriel Orion Marie
* For those of you who may not know, I have published a series of three books that tell the story of my recovery and healing from profoundly intense physical, sexual and spiritual abuse. These books have dozens of paintings that I did during my process and those paintings are a core form of communication I used in my Healing. These books are available on Amazon. I hope you will read them and pass them on to others!
This White House (Book One), Going Sane (Book Two) and A Spectacular Dawn (Book Three)