Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,
It is very Humiliating and Challenging when I Notice that I have Attached Strings to Gifts of any kind that I have Given.
When I help someone out in their time of need and then I don’t hear from them when they are not in need, I find myself hurt and slighted. And this has happened in a very vivid way in my life recently. One of my close friends has been in a special need this winter. I have bent over backwards to be a good friend. Or so I thought.
As things are unfolding, I can see that all along I was trying to Assure a spot in her life. I was trying to Purchase a Guarantee on our friendship and commitment to each other. I am so sorry I have done that. I have been giving of my time and energy and my finances, not as a Pure Gift…but as a Gift with Strings Attached and I am Dreadfully Sorry.
It is so Easy to slip into this kind of behavior and I know I am not alone in this. I call this Emotional Debt. That is when we do something for someone and inside of us somewhere we make note of it, we put in on a little Interior Account that makes it an Emotional Debt that we expect Repayment for.
How Awful! Yet I know it happens All the time in relationships. I know I am not unique in Attaching Strings to my “Acts of Kindness or Acts of Generosity”. I am working very hard to Notice When I Attach Strings and have renewed my Commitment to Consciously Cut those Strings and either Give Freely, or Do Not Give….because if something is not Given Freely, it really is not a Gift, is it? It’s not always easy to tell when I am doing this when I am in the Act of Giving, but it shows up later when I am finding myself Hurt or Angry because it is not reciprocated.
Learning to live with No Emotional Debt in my relationships is one of the most wonderful and worthwhile pursuits in my Healing Journey. Many of the things I write about in this blog are the Details of Thorough Healing that I continue to discover and integrate.
It my Most Authentic Desire to Share my Heart and my Recovery and Healing Process Freely on this Blog. That is why there are not Ads and I am not Selling anything. I am including information about my books because I want readers of this blog to know about them. They are a special Gift of my Heart because they have my paintings as a deep part of the Communication. I can say Truthfully that my Books and my Blog have No Strings Attached. I hope they are a Gift for you.
Given Freely, Dany Swobodnie, Liberamente Dato,
Gabriel Orion Marie
* For those of you who may not know, I have published a series of three books that tell the story of my recovery and healing from profoundly intense physical, sexual and spiritual abuse. These books have dozens of paintings that I did during my process and those paintings are a core form of communication I used in my Healing. These books are available on Amazon. I hope you will read them and pass them on to others !
This White House (Book One), Going Sane (Book Two) and A Spectacular Dawn (Book Three)