I wrote the other day about my efforts to Not Resist Anything, including (and especially) the most difficult things in life and I had the chance that evening at work to practice this principle and I was very moved by what transpired.
Just before I entered into the room of a very difficult client, I took several deep and conscious breaths which helped me to enter without fear. I was very curious about how this would go, since the last time I had been there she screamed and yelled and called me all sorts of dreadful names.
This time, she looked up, saw it was me, and began to berate me. I stood quietly and gently told her that I was sorry that she did not like me, but that I was assigned to work in her area for that shift and I needed to give her medication to her. She told me she hated me, she told me she didn’t trust me, she was getting very agitated and angry and I didn’t move, I just breathed and stayed without defense. I did not let the bullets of rage find a Wall of Ego to strike. I stood by as the Observer and only had one tiny flutter of resistance in my stomach which passed when I acknowledged it.
I told her I was sorry for how difficult this was for her, but I was willing to work with her to find a solution so she could get what she needed, and I actually meant it. I told her I would respect her, I would just give her the medicine and then I would leave. Suddenly, she started breathing slower, she looked out her window and then put her hand out to receive the medicine and took it without fuss.
She started shaking as I was walking out and she said “I can’t talk about it but my son committed suicide. Don’t say anything back to me, I don’t want to talk about it.”
I was pierced with Compassion and Understanding and I just looked back at her, nodded my head that I heard her and I would respect her need not to talk about it.
My heart was Pounding so hard when I got out of her room, it was Pounding with Amazement at what had just happened. The experience of Not Resisting this old woman’s anger and rage and not taking it personally, lead to a moment where she was able to Relieve her Heart of a Terrible Secret Sorrow.
And I was able to Cast a Deep Feeling of Compassion and Kindness over this Pain, as it passed through me. I did not Resist this Sorrow of Hers, either…I just Kissed it as it Flew by…
With Greater Love than Yesterday,
Gabriel Orion Marie