Dear Friends, Drodzy Przyjaciele, Cari Amici,
One morning this past week I woke up with an Uneasy kind of Sorrow, the kind that is hard to define or put word on. This is one of the feelings that I am most often tempted to look away from, to find some kind of distraction from because I am so very uncomfortable with it.
Because I work the second shift at my job, I spend my mornings doing my writing and all the other things that go with daily life for me. Usually I love these hours when I am quiet, alone, and free to just Be and I can immerse myself in writing, cleaning, cooking, exercising, etc. But when I am experiencing that Uneasy Sorrow, and I am trying to Avoid it, I find myself repeatedly looking in the Kitchen Cupboard for something to Assuage this Sorrow.
I Know that the Answer, the Salve, the Nutrition that is needed for this Sorrow is found in my Heart. I know it cannot be found in the Cupboard, but it is such a deeply ingrained response in me to look anywhere but Inside.
Nutrition for my Soul is what I am craving..that is what I need and it is found in My Heart and in the Heart of the God of Love that I now believe in.
All these aspects of daily life that were so deeply damaged during my Insane Childhood are constantly surfacing and requiring ongoing healing and commitment in order for me to Live in Freedom. The very fact that I can recognize them, and address them with love and not hate, with tenderness and not shame, is part of the Spectacular Dawn that has Risen in my life.
For this I am truly grateful. Deo Gratias.
With Faith in Freedom, Z Wiarą w Wolność, Con la Fede Nella Libertà,
Gabriel Orion Marie
* For those of you who may not know, I have published a series of three books that tell the story of my recovery and healing from profoundly intense physical, sexual and spiritual abuse. These books have dozens of paintings that I did during my process and those paintings are a core form of communication I used in my Healing. These books are available on Amazon. I hope you will read them and pass them on to others !
This White House (Book One), Going Sane (Book Two) and A Spectacular Dawn (Book Three)